House on Haunted Hill (1999)

house on haunted hillHouse on Haunted Hill

Release Date: October 29, 1999

Director: William Malone

Stars: Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen, Taye Diggs

Runtime: 93 min

Tagline: Evil loves to party

Read this review to the tune of ‘White Christmas’. Enjoy!

I’m dreaming of a good horror movie
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the screenplay shines
and audiences scream in fear
at the scary things on the screen

I’m dreaming of a good horror movie
With at least one released each year (this isn’t it)
May your scares be scary and fresh
And may all your horror movies be fun

I’m dreaming of a good horror movie
With at least one released each year (this isn’t it)
May your scares be scary and fresh
And may all your horror movies be fun

Yeah, so, House on Haunted Hill is a really sloppy remake of an apparently entertaining campy 1959 horror classic. The concept is great, and it really wasted any potential it had. The twists are lame and the dialogue is crappy, and really everything about this isn’t exciting or particularly terrifying. It’s really just strange and irritating. Geoffrey Rush couldn’t even make the best of the rough source material offered to him. In an age where horror movie remakes rule the genre, this isn’t anything special.

40/100

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This entry was posted in 1990s, Reviews # - M and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to House on Haunted Hill (1999)

  1. Foogos says:

    The best horror movies are those that DON’T show you what’s so terrifying. Dread of being hacked to death is scarier that being hacked to death.

    I vaguely remember this movie and 40/100 sounds about right.

    Have a Merry Christmas, Dan! (And nice poem/song.)

  2. mistylayne says:

    Yeah, this one wasn’t fab. The original is fun though.

  3. craft fear says:

    But the original is f***ing BADASS!!

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