The Apparition (2012)

Apparition, TheRelease Date: August 24, 2012

Director: Todd Lincoln

Stars: Ashley Greene, Sebastian Stan, Tom Felton

Runtime: 82 min

Horror movies have always kept me up at night. I’d watch them, but in my younger years; I saw very few. I believe Darkness Falls was my first horror movie. (Sadly, I don’t remember some of the first movies I’ve seen.) That one kept me up at night – and I tried to rent it again a few years back, but I just couldn’t bring myself to watch it.

I’ve seen more and more horror movies over the years, and I’ve really grown to love them. I still have problems with supernatural movies, though. That is precisely what The Apparition is. I haven’t seen paranormal flicks like Insidious, Poltergeist, or any of the Paranormal Activity movies.

This makes me think I can check those out. The Apparition has successfully wiped away my fear of these kinds of movies. This film is laughable and not scary in the slightest. The concept from the advertising campaign, where if you believe in the ghost it can kill you, is hardly present in the final cut. It isn’t explored. This takes a traditional, supernatural movie route, and ends up being awful. This doesn’t have an ounce of originality, or an interesting concept. Greene looks attractive. That’s a positive. None of these performers can do squat with the screenplay, however, and they all go underused.

The director, Todd Lincoln, doesn’t do well, either. The ending might be symbolism of the studios’ lack of faith in the project. The hands crawling on Ashley Greene’s face are probably the hands of the angry moviegoers who want their money back. I watched this on TV, and I want my time back. Half of this has already left my memory, except the jokes I made during it. The entity ties knots with some of their clothes and makes scratches in the walls. The entity might as well have hands like a wolverine, can tie knots, and is often better with a camera than cinematographer Daniel Pearl.

This couple makes so many stupid decisions, you don’t care for their outcome. At all. I’m sure if a little statue (from the Experiment they conducted earlier in the film) came out of abnormal mold in my house, I’d leave. I’m also certain that if I witnessed paranormal happenings in my home, I would check into a hotel; not pitch a tent in the backyard. Fifty feet from where the events happened. This is where the malevolent spirit, or whatever unscary being it is, shows us its exemplary camera skills.

This might be considered “so bad it’s good” in some countries. One thing is for sure, it won’t be considered good around North America any time soon. It’s mostly just a blindingly boring, dull, laughable and insanely unscary horror movie. A positive does come out of this film: It will cure any fear of supernatural horror flicks.

12/100